Eventually I got clean. My teeth hurt. My body ached. I was grossly malnourished . What have I done to myself? The thought of sharing my body or myself with anyone was horrifying. How many long sleeve shirts can one person wear? I had a chipped tooth and an abcessed ones I was able to get those fixed in the first few months. Eventually, I spent $6,000 and six years of appointments getting my mouth restored. I paid $35 a month until I had a job where I could contribute more.
My legs are another matter. Dear readers, I have track marks, stretch marks, cellulite. Who is going to want me? I had an abcess that went into the bone. Instead of being lucky I saved my leg,I honestly was worried about who would fuck me. In early recovery, I was devestated by the state of my physical body. I had faith in restoration of my spirit. In some ways, the body never followed. However, if a person wants to love me they have to appreciate if not admire the entire package. My body is a narrative that tells the story of a survivor. There is also no shortage of affection available to me.
I'm sharing more embarrassing details. My ham hock track marked leg and the hole into the bone. I hope you will live and admire me a little today. My honesty makes me who I am