I'm lying on my bed under three different types of blankets. The window is slightly open so the sea breeze can creep across my exposed ankles. I feel nothing. I feel everything. At the same time. I am not sure why my life feels so empty when you arent around. There is a whole, as large as my imagination, picturing you here with me. There is a burning in my brain. It stings with the memory of what it would feel like to have you inside of me. You aren't a lover. You are my drug. I love you despite your abuse. I can't quit you.
I can't go on with you.
I can't go on without you.
Taste the blood.
I bite my tongue in desperation.
Switching from side to side to side.
I cry inside my pillow.
Kicking you one more time.