I cried today. I curled up on my couch with my headphones and some music. Then I cried for the sins of the world. Why does heroin kill so many people? Why are there so many people that just don't care? I have been writing this blog since January. Many days I say I am not going to write because I was planning on writing a book.
One day, I realized this blog is very important to many people. Many of my readers are sitting somewhere alone or with their partner who is also strung out or in recovery. I have at least five sets of lovers who read my blog together. The day I realized how important a word of encouragement was to so many people was the day I realized I must keep writing until whatever story within my soul is complete.
Any one of my readers could die tonight. Or give in to temptation. Or start a new journey of recovery from drugs that suck the essence of joy from whatever they touch. Many of my recovering friends have moved on to somewhat normal lives. However, I transport myself to you. I am a few steps ahead reaching back for you. Recovery happens. Recovery is happening. It is here when you read and have hope that you can live a life without drugs.
I have been clean fifteen years. It is true- fifteen full years. But I need you as much as you may need me. I need to remember that I am clean but not cured. The struggle continues and junkies keep dying without a chance. And so I sit on my couch and cry for the sins of the world. And so I write and let you know recovery is possible.