Friday, May 3, 2013

Crying for the sins of the world

I cried today. I curled up on my couch with my headphones and some music. Then I cried for the sins of the world. Why does heroin kill so many people? Why are there so many people that just don't care? I have been writing this blog since January. Many days I say I am not going to write because I was planning on writing a book.

One day, I realized this blog is very important to many people. Many of my readers are sitting somewhere alone or with their partner who is also strung out or in recovery. I have at least five sets of lovers who read my blog together. The day I realized how important a word of encouragement was to so many people was the day I realized I must keep writing until whatever story within my soul is complete.

Any one of my readers could die tonight. Or give in to temptation. Or start a new journey of recovery from drugs that suck the essence of joy from whatever they touch. Many of my recovering friends have moved on to somewhat normal lives. However, I transport myself to you. I am a few steps ahead reaching back for you. Recovery happens. Recovery is happening. It is here when you read and have hope that you can live a life without drugs.

I have been clean fifteen years. It is true- fifteen full years. But I need you as much as you may need me. I need to remember that I am clean but not cured. The struggle continues and junkies keep dying without a chance. And so I sit on my couch and cry for the sins of the world. And so I write and let you know recovery is possible.

1 comment:

  1. I have days filled with over analyzing and deep contemplation and other days where tears fall without pinpointing the exact reasoning.

    This is a touching post. I must have missed it the first time around reading all your stories. Thank you for continuing on with this's wonderful that you know how much it means to us.I love the pictures. Very deep.