Inspired by my Readers

I am truly inspired by you readers. I love reading your comments and emails. If you do not Speak English, email me your questions. I will put them in google translator and send the answers back to you. traceyh415@hotmail.com

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 13, 2013 at 12:11 AM

    What a nice post this is of yours.

    Well...I have some questions, if I may...does your husband speak Russian and is he originally from Russia? The reason I ask is because I *thought* I saw a post of yours saying your daughter speaks Russian but I could be mistaken.

    I was wondering if you will someday give us a full tour of all your tattoos and tell us the meanings behind each of them...I really enjoyed seeing and hearing about your butterfly caught in a web tattoo and wish to know about the others. Are some shown in the movie now covered-up?

    Also I do very much wish Mr. Okazaki would put together another Black Tar Heroin-The Dark End Of The Street movie, just using footage he shot but never used in the first film...do you think that could ever happen? Does he read your blog?

    Also do you know anything regarding how Teresa is doing?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCQ9U2mztZA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415April 13, 2013 at 6:59 AM

      My kids are in Russian preschool. Steven took left over footage and made a film about me an Ben. I have never seen it. I haven't seen Teresa in 10+ years.

      Delete
    2. traceyh415April 13, 2013 at 7:00 AM

      He knows about my blog. Not sure if he had read it

      Delete
  2. AnonymousApril 13, 2013 at 12:17 AM

    What a wonderful photo! That's one seriously elegant feline you have there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415April 13, 2013 at 7:02 AM

      His name is Smokey and he is mean to everyone except the family

      Delete
  3. UnknownApril 13, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    Watching that Theresa footage again just fills me with gratitude. I'm so grateful that I haven't had an abscess in over 12 years, I'm grateful that I no longer have to have $20 sexual encounters, I'm grateful to be living in a place with it's own bathroom and no blood spatters on the walls & ceiling, I'm grateful to have made it out of hell alive & mostly sane. I'd never even watched BTH before I started reading your blog. I was homeless & living it first hand at the time, and the hotels in which I sometimes stayed weren't the type that offerred free H.B.O. I knew it existed, but had totally forgotten about it, until your blog reminded me. Now that I have watched it, I think it's probably the best documentary I've seen on this subject. It hits really close to home for me, uncomfortably so, but serves as an excellent reminder of how fucked up things were when my life revolved around Black Tar Heroin. I have so much to be grateful for today! Thanks for the reminder!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415April 13, 2013 at 3:34 PM

      I did not watch it for many years but I see bits and pieces and it gives me the creeps to see the conditions I existed in

      Delete
  4. UnknownApril 14, 2013 at 9:07 PM

    I'm not one of those folks in recovery that suffers from all that "euphoric recollection" jazz...When I think back, I remember quite vividly how miserable my day-to-day life was back then, how I used to believe that death was preferable over what I was calling living. Problem for me is that most of the time I chose NOT to think about how life used to be. I tend to act as if it never happened. The reason that's problematic for me is that every now & again I find myself being guilty of prejudice when it comes to judging people who are still "in the life". I get this false sense of being better, which I know is total bullshit. I forget how choice only has so much to do with becoming an addict. Then I watch a film like BTH and everything falls back into perspective. I'm so thankful that you're doing this blog. It's a great source of inspiration for people who's lives are being affected by substance abuse. I'm sure it gives a lot of people HOPE. Thanks for writing & I'll keep on reading!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415April 15, 2013 at 8:33 AM

      this blog is an outlet for a lot of people

      Delete
    2. UnknownApril 16, 2013 at 9:00 AM

      I hope it is as cathartic for you as it is for so many of your readers.

      Delete
  5. UnknownApril 15, 2013 at 7:11 AM

    Very interesting read, i am 50 and stopped smack and alcohol 5 years ago but still ended in hospital last year for 5 weeks in a coma 5 weeks as a cabbage 7 weeks with pneumonia brain infection, collapsed lung fluid on the other and diabetes but i fight on walk with a stick but not dead yet....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415April 15, 2013 at 8:32 AM

      wow you should write about it. i would love to hear that story

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Black Tar Heroin 10 questions answered

Image
I want to get this in one place. Here you go When was the film made? The film was made from Dec 1995 to Dec 1997. Originally the film was supposed to be for one year but I believe when HBO picked up the film they wanted two years. How were you picked for the film? Steven met a bunch of different people at the youth needle exchange. He wanted subjects that were slightly younger than me. He filmed a few other people  that never made it into the final film Were you paid for the film? No. I was not paid for the film. he bought me a hotel to stay in for a week and bought me lunch a few times. I think they left some money for me when I was in jail too. Documentary film makers, in general, don't pay their subjects. Was I friends with the other people from the film ? Sort of. I never knew Alice. I met Oreo when he was 15 or 16. He was VERY young when the film was made. His mom used to work the desk in one of the hotels I lived in. Jake and I used to hang out. At one point h...
Read more

Things people do not tell you about heroin

Image
1. Chinga babies- after you have been hooked on opiates for any period of time, you can no longer poop well on your own. When you enter a period of sickness, you may give "birth" to a chinga baby. This is when you suddenly have to poop and an enormous hard poop the length of your colon decides to come out an an inopportune time tearing apart your booty.  2. Coagulated blood hits- when you cannot find a vein, you may put a syringe clogged with blood and dope to the side. At some later time, a few hours or even a day down the road, you may rethink that hit. I have taken the liquid out, picked out the clots and stuck that right back in my arm. I also did a few of Ben's coagulated blood hits. Ahhh love!  3. Impotence- Shhh. It's a secret unless you have ever fucked a male addict. After awhile, things do not work in the nether regions. Unless they take a hit of crack or speed. Then, he is too busy looking for white specs on the carpet to get busy.  4. No periods. Yes ladie...
Read more

Jamie

   Being able to fall apart is a luxury many people don’t have. They carry their burdens until it breaks them.  Miss Jamie was one of the most aesthetically pleasing  women I had ever seen in my life. She simply glowed. When she entered a room, everyone had to stop to pay attention. She took that space over. Her smile was radiant. Her energy was infectious. She was a fireball of a human. Her petite frame was always draped with carefully selected skirts, dresses, and form fitting sweaters. She paired this with her signature plum lipstick and acrylics.  She always came late in the day, usually when I had the lowest energy. Yet, I never refused her entrance. I was happy to see her. Happy to listen to her while she held court in my desk area.      On this day, Jamie was wheeled into the clinic by a person I had never seen before. Instead of scrubs, he looked as if he had woken up on the streets. He looked left like a caretaker, more like a pe...
Read more