Sunday, April 7, 2013

Confessions of mini van mom

So I was not afraid when a man put a 22 in my face and threatened to kill me. However dear readers, I am terrified of driving a car. In fact, I become a complete nervous wreck even as a passenger in a car.

I was in an accident in 1992. There was blood and chaos and the jaws of life. I still remember the sounds of my friend screaming. Her leg had been crushed.
It was raining. I asked Lance how my face looked. I could tell he was lying as he said I looked alright. Blood was rushing down my face. As I reached up, I thought I was touching my forehead. I went into shock when I realized I was touching my skull. The skin had been peeled back and apart

My face! My fucking face. They stitched me up with inch long stitches fifty of them in total. I must have looked like Frankenstein. I am surprised the bar Sudly Malones would serve me. Vicodin and Vodka.

They said I would need plastic surgery. I got strung out soon after. Flash forward to today. My daughter needs me to drive her to school tomorrow. I have thought of fifty ways to try and get out of it. I had a massive panic attack in the middle of driving last year. I am not afraid of what other consider dangerous but my mini van is making my chest tighter. Breath breathe better maybe. We will see.


  1. Damn Tracey, I never knew about your accident, I thought you just got started out of curiosity.

    1. I was already using before the accident. My using got much worse after the accident. I was very traumatized about my face. I would not have been in the accident if i was not seeking drugs so it all goes hand in hand.

  2. My drive today was fairly uneventful. I am almost disappointed as I had envisioned all types of catastrophic scenarios.

  3. I have severe anxiety attacks when I drive and even worse as a passenger. That feeling of not being in control. I Absolutly hate it.