Saturday, July 27, 2013

Turning Blue

How many times will you overdose before it is over? How many times will you wake up on the floor, in the jail, or behind the wheel of your car going down the highway? When did the doe start doing you?

Yes, yes. I really do not understand you at all my friend. I have NEVER fallen asleep will crackers in my mouth. Oh wait, yes. Yes I have had the pleasure of a little fire on my arm from someone smoking and nodding out into me. Fuck yes I have bashed my head on the concrete walking in a nod. You think you are the only one who jabbed a bloody bent needle into your leg when you couldn't find a vein. Uh no. I have sucked the dope man off AND lost everyone that care about me. Yes, I see your misery and raise you. I bet you never lived outside with a shopping cart. Trump!

Cut all have been clean so long stuff. TIRED! So tired. The circumstances may be different but the feelings are the same. In the end, the drugs do not care if you are employed, rich, poor, where you live, or whether you feel as if you are "functioning" as an addict. You can turn blue just like me. If you die with a needle hanging out of your arm, people will mourn. If you take just ONE too many pills, it will not matter if they came from a doctor or a crack head. Death creates a level playing field.

THIS is serious. You are betting your life on it.

this is my writing my blog face and dress code. A little more light hearted


  1. Good post as usual. Seems like it was written for me. Shows how unique we all think we are huh ? But the expression on you're face in the pix made me giggle.

    1. the cat was trying to chew on my laptop just prior to this. I was masking my frustration

  2. Tracy I just want to comment and applaud you for taking the time out of your life to try to help those in need. I was a using addict for 15 yrs. and without people like yourself I would still be ripping the streets up, sticking a spike in my arm every chance I could. I've been on suboxone for a little over 2 yrs and it has saved my life. I'm not ready to taper just yet, but will when the time is right. I'm just rambling now. I guess I just wanted to say thank you for what your doing.

  3. thanks so much for reading :). If it wasn';t for people like you i wouldn't have the fuel I need to keep doing this another day