Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Cardboard Box House

A cardboard box house aka heroin hut or crackdeville is a common sight all around the city. Here are the steps to building an effective shelter. First of all, you must be loaded a least a month of two. It is critical for you to abandon all hope of sleeping inside. Add in a dash of paranoia that the shadow people may find you. You are ready. 

The next steps are all about real estate: location, location, location. You must strategically place yourself close enough that anyone wandering by might find you and give you some drugs. Plus, you can get a kick down for your space. Veins need to be warm so space inside your shopping cart villa may pay off if it is well constructed and safe from the elements. You must select a doorway or sidewalk that has limited foot traffic or the owners will surely call the cops. Finally, rest your cardboard on the tops of a hill. I have learned the hard way about people pissing above your stuff and how it rolls down hill. 

Do not sleep next to garbage. Rats jump and like to tear up pieces of bedding for their nests. Do not sleep next to the curb. You will get soaked when street cleaning comes by in the morning. 

In constructing the layers, cardboard goes down first. Then a wool type blanket. These blankets are extremely prone to body lice so try not to share them. The lice nestle in there until they find another host. A sleeping bag is optimal. You can also throw on two pairs of pants and four shirts. The effect is similar unless the sea breeze blows in at night. Then you need some type of tarp. A shopping cart is good for blocking the wind but not essential to the construction of your new digs. 

Be sure to pack extra syringes, sterile water, a glass pipe, a push, cotton, some cookers, condoms, a candy bar, and some napkins. Like the Boy Scouts say- be prepared! Sleeping with a knife and a pitbull helps if you are going it alone. 

I hope you never end up in these places. I've had a pink shopping cart, a battery generated shopping cart, a trunk on wheels. I can laugh at my insanity. The insanity that goes with active addiction. 

Behold! This urban camper breaks all the rules. He/she has a cardboard box of fuck you going on. Urban camouflage. 

4 comments:

  1. Did you have sex while sleeping in a cardboard box house?

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    1. I have had sex before in one. Not a lot because heroin took away almost all my sex drive. I can think of at least one time when my friend got out of prison. That was in a deluxe set up with shopping carts on both sides and a tarp over the top. I had that set up for like a week as they police did not ask us to move.

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  2. Thanks for sharing this post I also share with you some tip hope you like. Where to find packing material?? There are bags of peanut type packing material, bubble wrap, and soft tissue type plastic wrap found at most shipping stores. If you have some time, I would suggest asking around at office supply stores or federal shipping institutions because they are usually a good resource to be had.. I found a resource at a wood furniture place that just recycles the packing material so they just give it to me cause they do not want it anyway... Be creative: I used the packing material that came with the shoes I bought to keep two items safe in transit.. As long as you use enough packing material to keep the item snug in the center of the package during the trip everything should arrive intact..
    Used Packaging Boxes

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    1. Until someone nods off on the plastic and suffocates

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