When my husband and I met, it was through a mutual friend. We had many of the same interests but there was also some barriers. We were friends. One day I got that fateful phone call- I did I want to go out to the movies? The rest is history. I did not want to fall in love because I was afraid my judgement on the subject was so flawed, it would lead to despair. My husband is a wonderful person. I got that right from the start. The rest of the relationship is work.
Relationships are hard, let alone trying to have a relationship when you have suitcases full of emotional baggage. I had to spend years by myself before I was even willing to try one. In my mind, a relationship has to progress past that first feeling of butterflies. Before you jump head first into a relationship, make a list of the things you want and don't want in a person. Be specific. Have some interview questions for the person- they are applying to be in your life. Be firm on your boundaries. Most of all, find your recovery first.
Three kids later, it's time to put in more work. We have to learn how to relate to each other again as a couple and as people. I have to learn to be more than a mom or a wife. I have to be Tracey again. I'm not sure who that person is but I'm sure I will tell you all about her when I find out.