Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Give me the Chiva

Black Tar Heroin, also known as Chiva, is primarily a West Coast of the US poison with pockets of poison distributed along the South and dotted along the map. It smells like vinegar, the acid used in the process and breaks down into a sea of cut in a cooker including coffee, corn starch, baby laxative, and occasional actual tar used for roofing materials.

You must, must, must use a cotton at all times or you will end up with a nasty skin infection known as an abcess. I was known as the " abcess queen" for having up to four abcesses at a time, thirty two in my life. I was always in too much of a hurry from dope sickness to use safe injection precautions . The main offender was tainted water. Instead of clean water, I've used grape crush, vodka, gutter water, and water off the hood of a car in the rain to mix with the dope. I paid the price with infections. Many of those I drained myself with a sterile needle, gauze pads, and saline solution. If I was going to be my doctor, I might as well be my own nurse. 

On an average day, a junkie needed to beg, borrow, steal, or suck enough dick to buy a gram which was $50 from a good connection. The weight was always short, or at least it seemed that way. The dealers always held all the power except when it came to sex. Many of them were in love with blue eyed hookers that contrasted their brown skin and eyes. I've seen many a dealer arrive straight from Mexico and trick off half their package on blow jobs until they settled in to the daily grind of selling heroin.

As everyone hated their dealers, we all found ways to seek revenge. I personally was strong armed with knives twice. I never gave up everything,  just enough for sick junkies to feel satisfied they got over on me. A popular technique was to have a telephone connection get comfortable with you. Then, one day, it was time. Jake was very good at "give me the Chiva or I will give you the el Sida"(AIDS). A bloody needle and the threat of AIDS works every time. Whether anyone would have sunk the needle in them, I'm not sure.  I believe at that state in our lives, we would  have done it. We risked death every day. Why not spread the misery around?  When you are a desperate hustler spending money in the hundreds and that connection will NOT front you a bag, it is time for retribution. We all have our breaking point. Remember what was taken from
Me? Well now, I'm taking everything...

Do not judge us for the sins of our past. Love is the only cure for our redemption. 

10 comments:

  1. well that was a horrific post

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    1. That is part of addiction. I try to capture parts of addiction that might be unfamiliar to some people. Some days i am inspired by recovery other days I remember the struggle. Thanks for reading

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  2. i appreciate your honesty. was just difficult for me to read. im no stranger to addiction but I've learned a lot from your blog.

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    1. It is a difficult read. I am in a darker period this week. last week was more optimistic. Im a moody one for sure.

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  3. "give me the Chiva or I will give you the el Sida" Wow. Was Jake's recovery path similar to yours aside from the methadone? It is nice to hear good things about people who you know have suffered.

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    1. Jake went into residential treatment in a place called Waldenhouse and went to meetings. He had a core group of friends. He also volunteered at Gilman in Berkeley which is a club that has shows and does not serve alcohol. I'm really not sure why he fell off the wagon except he had big emotional highs and lows. The methadone helped level out his mood.

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  4. I recall in the film he said his mom was a heroin addict. Do you know if she ever recovered?

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    1. I never knew anything about his family. When he died though some relative stepped in at the last minute and collected his remains so he must have had someone there that cared in some capacity

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