What does clean mean? I went into rehab from the jail.I am a person whom is lucky enough to say my county paid for me to get clean. the rehabilitation center I entered was not known for having a good sucess rate. It was a program that was paid for by Criminal Justice. I was to be one of ten females in a facility with eighty men. The numbers fluctuated but the pressure to maintain self-esteem was on from day one. How can I get recovery in this place?
The day I went to the treatment facility I had a few months clean. I had attended a few 12 step meetings. There was this thing called recovery. I wanted this thing so badly despite having any understanding of the substance. I was put back into my own clothes, which barely fit, and transported into this place. recovery, the process of regaining ones self was already starting for me. It was as if I was starting at the starts and did not notice the Earth was moving when I turned down drugs in the jail.
At what they called the "main meeting", the meeting where the whole "house" needed to be, my life changed forever. The speaker Wilson was electrifying. He had been in Milestones nearly a year. he had a job, a girlfriend, money in the bank as evidenced by his jewelry.
"Look around the room. Of the people that are sitting here, two of you are going to make it."
My heart stopped. ME I have to be one of those people. i was not sure of the reality of my peers. I knew my reality. I am not going back to all my belongings in shopping cart. I am not going back to those alleyways. I am not going back to that insanity. I am not going back. period.
I am not sure what happened to the other 79 people. Some stayed clean. other did not. I was told Wilson relapsed and died of heart failure in his addiction. The last time I saw him, all the light had escaped from his body. Only the addiction remained. As for me, I am not going back. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAWA7uf-2gI&list=PLuXsTQQ2Ec5oD3aG5VyLnG-mqq0Uj5dCQ&feature=mh_lolz