One of the reasons I started writing again was the overwhelming response to "Black Tar Heroin-The Dark End of the Street". When I agreed to do the movie, it was Dec of 1995. Originally, the movie was going to be filmed for one year. The filmmaker was looking for people younger than myself but i did my best to talk my way in to the Film. I really, truthfully believed at that point in my life that the film was to serve as my last will and testament. I had been using steady with no respite for 4-5 years. I was probably close to 120 pounds. I had an HIV scare in 1992 and had reason to believe I was infected would refuse on and off to get a test. I was paranoid, dejected. I was a constant string of abscesses and abusive relationships. I would say that was without a doubt, the lowest period of my life.
The film ended Dec 1997 after extending an additional year. It was released in mid1998 on HBO and had two million viewers that first week. The issues for me was that I was clean when I twas released. I felt completely exposed as a everyone I ran into seemed to know intimate details of my life. Strangers used to stop me. People searched for me. The media wanted my story. Except I was a new person and didn't want any extra attention.
Fast forward to 2013. I have have come to accept that the film is one of the greatest documentaries of all time. You can argue this point but the evidence shows that 15 years later, people still contact me from all over the world. Something about the film resonates with them. They either know someone like the people in the film or they WERE the person in the film.
In 2013, I want people to know one thing from my experience- recovery is possible. I am a living breathing example of this fact. Take my desperation and make it your inspiration if it helps you.