I had a really good day today. A really really good day. A good day full of uncomplicated emotions and low expectations.
Recovery is saying: I had a really good today today. I want to cherish this day. Tomorrow may be hard so I want to remember this day.
Addiction is saying: I had a really good day today. I wonder what I could do to have another day EXACTLY like this one.
Addiction is a state of suspended animation. You are frozen in the block of self doubt and dependent on a chemical for your joy. Recovery for me is making room for the human experience. No two moments need to be the same. Stepping in the mud, looking at blackberries, simply alive and in the moment.