Friday, September 13, 2013

Love in 40 Units

When we first got together, it was love at first bite. You left a bruise on my flesh to mark your territory. You never told me that we would be bonded in a lifelong embrace. You told me that you loved me that very first time. It was like sex and food and a warm blanket. You promised everything would be okay as long as we were together. You needed to be with me if I could just find a way. I knew at that moment, it was love in 40 units.

The next time was even better for me. I was not afraid of your love. I held on to the silky feeling of being reunited and it feels so GOOD. As I wipe off a bit of puke from my chin, you are moving in. You want me. ME! You picked me. All my friends are so clueless. The world is passing us by like a joyful dream dampened by the sunrise. I am with you. You are inside of me. We are one.

Again, again, again you call to me. Come see you. Just one more time. The sacrifices I make just for a few moments stolen for your presents. There are no longer gifts. They are stolen moments in time.

When I try to leave I am punished for my desire for independence. You pull the tourniquet a little tighter around my life. I cry in agony, my restless legs carry me. I am slipping from your grip when you invite me to cuddle. I fall into your pillow. I am so sleepy from our struggle. 

I am leaving you. Not today. Not this moment.

this is a pic a reader took of his drugs right before he ODed and almost died

2 comments:

  1. Beautiful.

    I'm back on drugs tho aapart lifes falling apart. Fuck it.

    ReplyDelete