The Merchandise

"I think you are beautiful". I slowly try to chew my food. My mouth is so dry. Why does he want to take me to eat fish and chips. Everyone walking by the window will see me with this guy. It is hot outside. The bricks and concrete are baking in the sun. I am not starving, I am just thin and I hate French fries. 

"Really?!" I ask. "What is so beautiful about me?" I never should have done a half gram before I left the room. This was a WEIGHED half gram, not a street half gram which was usually short and full of cut. My eyes feel so heavy. The edges of the world are fuzzy right now. I hear him talking but I am somewhere else. I am somewhere and I am nowhere at the same moment. It feels like I am sliding down this bench. The date had to shake me and wake me up. I was so sexually enticing passed out on the sidewalk- he had to have me. 

"Maybe I should get you something to drink? A coke." A coke. I need some coke. Or some speed. Something. I'm dreaming about Ohio again. I'm thinking about my parents house. I love laying in the grass in the summer time. I'm looking up at the clouds. This time I am young. I am still happy. I am laying in the roots of the maple tree with the grass. 

"Do not fucking touch me like that!" I am bolted awake out of a nod by a rough hand on my thigh. "I'm just checking the merchandise" he says with a laugh. This is what I have become- merchandise. And he is free to grab my snatch. No. He caught me off guard. How long have I been nodding off? It seems like an hour. No, just a few minutes. The clock does not lie. Plus, my coke is not here yet. Coke- yes! I still have some speed in my purse. Where is the bathroom? I need to wake up- now. 

"What was your name again?" I scratch my arm. I feel so dry and itchy. I am going to have to use this same connect again. I am wasted. "Okay Woody. When I get back from the bathroom, you can tell me more about how beautiful I am."

Comments

  1. Jamie AnneSeptember 10, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    What kind of people picked you up for dates? Did you have regulars? Were they all as creepy as I'm imagining?

    I am of the firm belief, that prostitution should be legalized. When both parties are of sound body and mind, and willing, it is a victimless crime - provided it's not my husband seeking services, I don't have a problem. And if it was my husband, my problem wouldn't be with prostitution, but with my marriage. Unfortunately, prostitution often isn't between two parties of sound body, and mind. Often the servicer, is doing so out of desperation. It hurts my heart, to think of how prostitutes and more importantly, addicts, are exploited daily by Johns and pimps. There is no protection out there for them. If they get beat, or raped, society, and the law's attitude is, "You were doing something wrong, and you deserved it."

    No is supposed to mean no.

    Just another blow to want to numb :0(

    ReplyDelete

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