Showing posts from March, 2021

A year inside

 The global pandemic has been a year without parallel in my life. First of all, to those who have lost someone to covid, my deepest condolences. To those with long covid, I hope you get relief soon. And to those who have lost someone to an overdose in the past year, I see you. It has been a long road to a place where I even see a glimmer of hope. That does not mean we should look past the pain the last year has caused.  I started having panic attacks in Jan of 2020. I can clearly see now that this was related to two items: One was the lack of adequate treatment for a hormone balance. Two was fear of coronavirus. The type of anxiety that I have makes any kind of medical fears related to death or disease spiral into a monster that is unmanageable. I remember the Lyft ride home from the ER when they pumped me up with benzos because I was shivering alternating with having trouble breathing. I was so fucked up, I really should not have traveled alone. As I was riding, I realized I was not i