"Man of constant sorrow"
It is approaching the anniversary of the death of my father. My father died the day my son was born. I had a complicated relationship with my father. As a child, I idolized him. It seemed as if he do anything. He took me fishing. He could play cards and pool. He had friends who had horses. He knew all about sports. It seemed as if he could answer any question. As I got older, I noticed many of our interactions revolved around the ebbs and tides of his drinking. I started to see this man through a different lense. I did learn some important skills from him. I learned how to hide my feelings. I used to take my fingers and put them in candle wax. The burning sensation mirrored my feelings. At first I felt the pain but eventually I was numb to everything around me. In my entire life, I have only had a few open discussions with my father. One was when he was in rehab. My parents used everything I said in group therapy against me at one point or another. They were so focused on their rel...