Showing posts from December, 2015

My interview with Steven Okazaki (Black tar Heroin & Heroin Cape Cod USA)

Here is the link  click here . I though y'all would be interested.

Just for today- fuck heroin.

You woke up one day. You were strung out.  It happens.  I don't know why you started.  Were you the shy kid? Were you the athlete? Were you the child of uncaring parents? Were you bored?  It doesn't matter any more.  Start where you are at.  Stop licking the blood off your arm. Stop cutting the straw from Dunkin Donuts. Stop killing yourself because someone doesn't love you.  You need to love yourself.  You were born perfect.  A child- capable, lovable, adorable.  The drugs don't understand you. The drugs don't complete you. They compete for your attention. They mask your affection.  You deserve more. I don't know what 2016 will bring.  I do know this- fuck heroin.  Heroin is a living death. Heroin is the jealous lover. Heroin takes everything.  Heroin is not a cure. Heroin is the cancer. It infects your body.  It slow eats away your bones. You become a shell of yourself. Until you die or arres

Fuck the Holidays 2015 Edition

Fuck- the- Holidays.  If you haven't said it, I know you have at least thought it.  As drug users, this time of year sucks big time. First of all, if you are in active addiction there are going to be a long series of uncomfortable days. You are going to have to worry about pinned/dilated pupils. You are going to have to explain the flu that never seems to end. You are going to have to figure out how much of x,y,z you need to take with you on those trips "over the river and through the woods." To top it off, drug dealers have the nerve to take that day off. Where can you spend that $50 mom slips you so dad can't see? How can you make the most of that Christmas bonus? Dashing through the snow with one bag on the tray, over the city we go, sniffing all the way... You know who you are. Secondly, you may be in early recovery. You may be the one everyone hides their purse from at the family gathering. You may be wrestling with whether you should even OPEN your uncle&

New video

I post videos from time to time to show people that "it works" and you can get better, no matter how down you may feel. Click  here

A Life Without Drugs

I get lots and lots of questions. Some days, I might get up to 50 messages. I get questions about the movie "Black Tar Heroin." I get questions about naloxone. I get a few hate message. The main question I get over and over is "What is life like without drugs?" What is life like without drugs? That isn't an easy question to answer. First of all, every person is different. Every "bottom" is different. The reasons people want to quit are different. No one was pressuring me to stop. Despite the fact that I was homeless, depressed, and lying to everyone including my family I still did not feel any pressure to stop. Despite the fact that my health was in complete disrepair, I brushed off various symptoms. I was underweight. I was having heart palpitations from stimulant use. I had cavities and a whole in my tooth where a filling used to be. I had a few large healing abscesses. I had no glasses. I hadn't had them for years. I am unable to properly nav

The Parasite

I have many regrets. I regret the day I decided to stick a needle in my arm. I don't remember why anymore. Why did we shoot up Vicodin? Were we really that bored? Why couldn't we be like everyone else? Happy with a few beers and our Vicodin. God, why couldn't we have been those people? So high off a few beers. It doesn't matter. It is done. I regret the day I turned my first trick. I got money to buy heroin. I went to a hotel with old man. $40 while he stared at me. I was naked on the bed. He told me I was beautiful. I almost believed him. See, how easy this was... My friend told me it was so easy. $40 dollars was so easy. Now we have some drugs. Yay. It doesn't matter. It is done. I regret the way I stole from my parents. I regret the way I used their confidence. I regret the way I lied to them. Give me more money. Help me. I'm clean. Heroin and I live a symbiotic relationship. We get curled together. Our mind. Our thoughts. Mor