Monday, January 13, 2014

A Tale of a Greedy Dope Hog.

I am resting my mind in between stories when I reflect on the greedy dope hog. The greedy dope hog is not one person. It is a series of people I have met through my life. 

There is the undercover benzo Betty. She likes to nibble on a few bars or consume some klonopin. And never tells you. When she heartily ODs, it's always such a mystery how this could have happened especially because they are prescribed and she was "just sleeping". 

There is "I've done this before" Don. He INSISTS he is an opiates regular yet falls out on half a bag. He is either stuck with his head in the toilet or found under a table. Don- you do not need to lie to kick it. I would have shared- especially since you always have money. 

There is alcoholic Annie. She likes to drink cheap vodka. And cry about how sick she is or she needs her medicine. Damn bitch. Shut the fuck up. Yet when she turns blue while you went to the store to get a five pound bag of gummy worms you realize she had a few extra pills stashed she didn't want to share yet you gotta save her. She kicks you down when she gets her script since she needed a lift- that damn DUI. 

Hurry up Harry. His habit is scary. There is not a wake up, not a cotton not a rinse in sight. He uses every fucking speck. He hits in his neck. And falls out in the dead of night. "What is that cut on your face?" He hit the floor. Now he wants more. 

Maybe you have met sanctimonious Sara. She is just a snorter who swears she doesn't need to be sorry. "You can't OD from sniffing" until she does and her boyfriend is calling you.  "Help, help, help". Call 911, not me son. 

Add to my list. Be safe. Or else 


  1. Soccer mom sue. Nobody knows she's high, all day everyday, for years and years until one day she ends up in rehab because the inevitable happens, she's out of control.

  2. Borrowing Ben. He's either short on cash or has none at all. You do enjoy his company when he hasn't fallen out or used to the point of retardation, so you bring him with him out. He promises to pay you back etc then won't answer his phone until he's really in need again.