1. Chinga babies- after you have been hooked on opiates for any period of time, you can no longer poop well on your own. When you enter a period of sickness, you may give "birth" to a chinga baby. This is when you suddenly have to poop and an enormous hard poop the length of your colon decides to come out an an inopportune time tearing apart your booty. 2. Coagulated blood hits- when you cannot find a vein, you may put a syringe clogged with blood and dope to the side. At some later time, a few hours or even a day down the road, you may rethink that hit. I have taken the liquid out, picked out the clots and stuck that right back in my arm. I also did a few of Ben's coagulated blood hits. Ahhh love! 3. Impotence- Shhh. It's a secret unless you have ever fucked a male addict. After awhile, things do not work in the nether regions. Unless they take a hit of crack or speed. Then, he is too busy looking for white specs on the carpet to get busy. 4. No periods. Yes ladie...
This page is the first place I go on the puter every day. Probably because heroin is the first thing on my mind every day. I love reading your posts.
ReplyDeleteI only recently discovered your blog, Tracy, you give me hope. If you can get clean, maybe, one day, I can too. Until then, reading your stories makes me feel less alone, in this oppressively lonely lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteDear Tracey,
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you. 9 years ago My brother and I sat and watched Black Tar Heroin. My brother was in the midst of a crippling crack and meth addiction (I had my own, less dangerous addictions that I have since kicked), he'd been in out and out of psyche wards and rehab for years, most everyone had given up hope and those that hadn't were the people dealing with their own demons.
I watched my brother destroy himself for years, a silent observer to a slow suicide that I felt helpless to stop. I remember clearly watching my brother stick a needle between his toes as he cried, and thought, almost dispassionately "he was meant to die young".
Today, in 2014, my brother has been sober for almost 5 years. He has built a new life for himself helping those that suffer with mental disorders and drug addiction to make the changes he had made in his own life. He lives in another province (I'm Canadian), but we talk on the phone almost daily. Yesterday we talked he reminded me of the documentary we had watched in throws of our early twenties, when the thought of tomorrow didn't matter and the memory of yesterday was hardly more than a ghost. He told me, then, that documentary (he had forgotten what it was called) had resounded within him, and that he thought of it almost every day since he had seen it. That it was those memories and experiences caught on film that helped him change his life.
So its with great appreciation that I write this, if at all possible, please pass this on to others whom may have been involved with the film. I feel that I owe all of you so much more than an anonymous message on the internet, but it's the best I can do and I hope that it brings you some satisfaction to know you guys helped at least one addict save his life.
Sincerely,
A very grateful brother.