Monday, February 17, 2014

Out on the street again

Breathe deeply into the night air. I can barely catch my heart from beating outside my chest. The ribs are holding in my lungs. They are pushing against my shirt. My skin in dry. My lips are cracked. My eyes are beams in the night air. I stand against the brick wall. The heat burns against my skin.

They put me out into the world. I guess I got a little crazy. I did some speed and coke and dope. Nothing too unusual. I took my backpack and dumped it out. Everything started to look shiny. All my things strewn on the floor. Take them out and put them in. I thought I was organizing all my stuff. The bags, the socks, the needles with broken tops. Spread all over the linoleum. Spread all over the kitchen.

I was in the bathroom for far too long. A day? An hour? A few spent fishing. I had taken an x and marked the last place I hit a vein. It was truly a treasure and I needed a map. I have no place to sleep tonight so I need to go fast. Stay up, stay awake, be aware.

They told me I had to go outside. The put me out into the night. I was keeping the kids awake. Fumbling through my things on the floor. My heart is beating through my chest. My face is wet. I am sweating tears. They are rolling down my swollen face. I hear a ringing in my ears.

Out on the street again

4 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. This is from a memory not a current post

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  2. Scared the shit out of me because you said something about keeping the kids awake and I only know of you having kids being clean, so this made me think you slipped, so happy to know it's not so,

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