“The Only Way”

Dear Readers,

Folks that read this blog are all over the map with their drug use. Some of you are just starting out on this journey. I can only encourage you to get narcan, use safe technique, get advice from reputable sources, and take breaks. There are some that are midway through and have decided using drugs still works for you. And you know what- that is okay. You deserved to be treated with respect. Period. Humans have been using drugs for thousands of years. That isn’t going to stop because of prohibition. There are the vets of the drug war out there- I see you. You aren’t ready to stop but you don’t want to keep going either. That’s a tough place my friend. You don’t have to decide today but in the meantime, take better care of yourself baby. Finally, there are my pre and early recovery folk. Let me have a few words.

There is no one way to do recovery. 12 step is not the only way. Yes, it is the dominant treatment but that doesn’t make it the best treatment. Sanitariums used to also be the “best” treatment for mental health before meds and therapy came along. The best treatment is going to be what works for you. 12 step should be offered in an array of options. Meds, therapy, lifering, meditation, trauma informed care, SMART recovery, Harm Reduction therapy, etc. Any person who tells you 12 step is the only way is trying to provide advise based on their own limitations. It’s just not true. 12 step does work for some folks but you may not be one of them. It tends to work for folks who like lots and lots of schedules in their life and folks who like the social support model. I personally see 12 steps as social gatherings. I chose to ignore parts that irritate me. But a social gathering is ofcourse going to have some individuals in it that are not going to be of your liking. 12 step isn’t treatment. It has benefits. But it isn’t for everyone. And that’s 💯 okay.

There is no one way to recover. Do what works for you. Try things. Maybe reducing your use is a better solution for now. Maybe getting more rest. Thinking through options. We love you and want you to be happy and healthy.

Excuse typos. I’m on my phone.

                                                        To all your haters


  1. This post is fantastic. In my opinion, the people who only see 'one size fits all' paths to healing are either naive, willfully ignorant or cruel. I think that anyone who says they know how best to treat the unknowable perceptions, feelings, and experiences of another should not be trusted.

    For me personally, as far back as I remember til I was probably 23 I was unable to separate the negative behaviors I saw in loved ones from the complicated people they were. My lack of empathy came from anger and pain that I internalized (which is still too common for many.) It's not anyone's fault, really, loneliness is just a central part of the human condition. After I found help for my own mental illnesses and wounds I was able to think with more nuance and see outside myself.

    At first I wanted to share more of my story here but you hear so many of them that it's gotta be hard sometimes! I know you read and respond to pretty much everyone online which is amazing but can be emotionally tiring I'm sure. I wouldn't expect my therapist to do it for free :).

    In case anyone reading this needs a pick me up these are nice to read:

    How to love yourself: https://m.wikihow.com/Love-Yourself

    How to better love others: https://andrewsobel.com/eight-ways-to-improve-your-empathy/

  2. I'm some odd mix of different stages. Not sick of it but getting older and want to be able to do other things with my life. I wouldn't be ready to stop tomorrow, but I've been cutting down by .01g per week most weeks this year and am at around half what I was doing at the end of last year. What I'm not sure of is if I'm supposed to go to detox somewhere, or just take it all the way down on my own. And if I do that, I wonder if I'll recognize when it's pointless to do anymore, or will I be still hanging on, weighing out .01 and cooking that into a shot that I then split up into more shots? I'd hope that I'll recognize the futility before that.

    1. Do you feel it’s working? Less seems good

    2. It's mostly been easy to do, very little symptoms since it's miniscule amounts. There's weeks I fuck up and don't knock it down or lately - extra shots! Idk if it's a mental block or what but transitioning .06s to .05s, at least half the week end up having a 5th one, sometimes 6th and then cut it out and go back to 4 per day, but then soon enough doing the same some other week. Trying really hard not to think how close the end is most of the time, but other times considering how will I do it? Hopefully ketamine, it's supposed to help a lot. And what will after look like? Weed? Poly drug use? Or just see if I can raw dog reallty after 12 years but be easy on myself if I can't, just find less addictive ways to handle it. I guess if I really can't deal, I'll know I'm capable of stopping.

    3. "raw dog reality" is an excellent way of putting things

  3. Hi Tracey, thank you for your post. I personally wouldn't stand the overscheduling/oversharing of NA/AA so I stopped "caveman style". I did desocialize a bit, but thankfully reinvested myself into work so it's working out. You silently (and unknowingly) helped me with your online presence and wisdom such as the post above. Things would be different without you, and I prefer the way they are with. 💜


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