Today’s reflection

A person hooked on opioids is acutely aware of their situation. No outsider need warn them- they know. The first time you wake up with that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach or lack the energy to go to school/work/Outside, your plight is clearly outlined. We chose to deny this at first but the truth has a way of chopping at your conscious. You know what is going on. But does the benefits of the drug outweigh the consequences? No one else can decide this for you.

I stopped Heroin many times before I finally stopped. I would break my syringes. Go a few days without using. I’d do all the speed, take a benzo, smoke weed- whatever- to delay the inevitable return to the needle. Truly, I had no reason to stop besides for the fact I hated the bag chase. I had no job, no friends, no place to live, no will to live, no life. Heroin filled the chasm between myself and the world I saw others live in. It allowed me to function with suicidal depression- until it didn’t. I got to a place, a very discouraging place, of no veins and no prospects. I wish I had an illuminating tale of how I quit drugs 21 years ago because I really wanted to. That isn’t entirely true. In many ways, the choice was made for me by a failing body and no resources left to continue my use. Things just didn’t work. So I not only quit, I stayed “stopped”.

I don’t know what your situation is out there in the world. I surmise you are reading this piece because you want a little escape from the daily grind. I just want you to know that whatever your reasons, I understand them. I hope you are as safe as possible with your narcan, your clean supplies, and possibly next to a person who cares about your well being. Love to you- Tracey

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 4, 2019 at 1:39 AM

    I completely support harm reduction. But a huge problem we as society is supporting needles in our environment. In the PNW we are seeing more and more of effects of drug use. In just a small town 25000, there are many camps. Most are dwelling along aside of 2 rivers, leaving needles and other garbage. How do we support harm reduction and preserve our environment?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415October 4, 2019 at 9:49 AM

      A good alternative is providing funds for folks that are using drugs to pick up syringes. These programs have been effective for decades but are in short supply.

      Delete

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