Guest Post from Egypt



Every day when I wake up and open my eyes, I get the same feeling and questions:
"Heroin, do i love it or hate it ? I need it or want it !?"

Every night I feel sad and angry of myself because of how I became. I manipulate people for my sake, Hurt them so deep and leave horrible wounds in their hearts. These souls are  not forgiving, like before.

Turned from funny, lovely and nice guy who support and forgive everyone even who hurts me, to an devil. With another question "do i enjoy this or i have to be like this !?"

I was like two different characters. They have been fighting each other for around 3 years.

The insanity of Traveling every week to the desert to buy a large quantity directly from Bedouins. I act like an dealer to make sure I get good dope and save money. With more, I was facing real danger. Saw the death so many times in middle of gun battles between Bedouins and Cops. I was close to be arrested by cops. For heroin in Egypt, I would spend 7 to 25 years of my life in jail.

Its the "Magic and Beauty" the most dangerous heroin spot all over Egypt for more than 15 years or more of selling "brown heroin - base", kidnaps and killing. your life is so cheap there - barely equals one bullet. One wrong move or word to visit the hell and be turned to National ID in his full pocket of IDs. Always watching my back and worried of ambush of other addicts to win the large prize I am carrying while I travel home on  desert and highways.

Its more important and precious to me than my life ? I  was worrying about overdosing or my future. To  be junkie not only you who be shamed, All your family will be in shame here in Egypt.

I was fighting myself for 8 months trying to kick it, trying to get my freedom back.

How did I get here? I am from a middle-class family, beautiful parents and awesome brothers. We love and support each other. I know If something bad happens to me one of my parents will end up dead. Why is it I don't care about myself? I should be taking care of them and not be so selfish. 

I need their help right now. I told themI'm  addict looking for help. They gave me it to me with love. I knew it that it would hurt them deep but will save us all.

Now I have got my freedom, my feelings, my confidence, my work, my family's love. The most important thing I can open my eyes every day with hope and close it every night with inner peace.




no im home i only got the medicine
and they follow me with phone calls
nurse come home to change that white bottle hanging in my hand "IV"
and take a syringe every 3 days + few pills daily .. at the morning and the night
i feel no pain at the morning and sleep when i get this IV thing
i feel the real pain at night




Comments

  1. UnknownJune 9, 2015 at 10:06 PM

    Wow.. Never really think about how junkies in far off places get down. Sounds intense. I'm guessing the IV thing is some sort of chemical/rapid detox?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415June 10, 2015 at 7:14 AM

      I think it's a benzo, something to keep you hydrated, maybe something to keep you from vomiting. It has to have a benzo if you are sleeping lol

      Delete
  2. AnonymousJune 11, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    Thank you Tracey for supporting and helping me, when i saw your Youtube comment on " Black Tar heroin " you gave me hope and u always been with me sec by sec encourage me and giving me advices.
    Tracey shared your comments with me, u all make me feel like "im not alone" and the borders between us mean nothing to me.
    If you still an addict please be a man, strong, fight for your freedom and beat the devil.
    Thank you all for reading <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 15, 2015 at 10:45 PM

    This isn't my first read about heroin in Egypt, but it's always interesting and sounds insane. The extreme effort and danger involved. Even being required to go to some crap part of town, or run around at all- would not have allowed me to become addicted. Heroin did not impress me at first, not at all. Life had to become bad enough & it had to be the easiest thing in the world to do and get before my use escalated. But if there was a bunch of bs involved NOW, after already having a habit- probably would. (What am I saying? The getting $ part IS definitely total crap half the time these days.) Accounts from around the world are always a good read though, maybe even helpful for users who move.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415June 16, 2015 at 8:54 AM

      I love reading about. What life is like for drug users around the globe

      Delete
  4. UnknownFebruary 27, 2017 at 2:53 PM

    Hey I am in Egypt too with the same Danny problem. Do not know how to confront it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415February 28, 2017 at 7:56 AM

      I know he went to a state sponsored detox but ended up going to a rehabilitation program because he could stop using drugs

      Delete
  5. UnknownFebruary 28, 2017 at 1:11 PM

    Hey Tracy are u American? I am American born to an Egyptian family. I always been doing heroin but I think in Egypt the risk are greater. Are u completly clean or you are meds? If so which ones and which rehab u went to? The most important thing is after the withdrawal are over is dealing with the mental state. As I have been cleaning many times and relapsed. I am 41 years old a d been doing heroin for 20 years on and off. I appreciate any feedback you have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. traceyh415February 28, 2017 at 7:34 PM

      I'm American yes. I don't use any meds but I am not against them. The rehab I went to was horrible! Not very successful at all. The depression after getting off heroin is very brutal

      Delete

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