I was a simple addict. I use the term addict because it fits me. I don't think everyone who uses drugs are addicts. Many are not even dependent. That, however, was not me. I was addicted to drugs, addicted to that lifestyle. I was addicted to the struggle of being balls deep in the grips of whatever drug motivated me to get up every morning. I wasn't ashamed of the fact that more than once I begged a dealer for a bag. To me, it was part of the game. I wasn't embarrassed to ask the dope man if I could wash his dishes for a hit or clean up his apartment. Why not, I thought to myself. When you are truly, passionately in the obsession to use anything seems reasonable. Rock bottom may not be sex for drugs. Rock bottom may be watching a pet starve or a hole from an infection get larger and larger while you do nothing to help yourself.
In fact, I have been so low, I no longer believe in rock bottom. When you see a woman turning tricks, knowing she has a colostomy bag you might feel the same. I know people believe in "tough love" and I believe in the opposite which is "harm reduction". I don't think you need to let a person stay with you if they are stealing your tv but I also don't believe you need to cut them all the way out of your life. The true bottom is death. I don't wish that for anyone.