Thursday, April 17, 2014

The Last Time Forever- A dope fiend love story

"This is the last time forever. I swear, babe..." he says.
 I have heard this words before.
This is a familiar lie. Like him explaining "I need to do more ".
I chirp back "Huh?"
We both are sick.
Does junkie love make us equals,
No He is up to tricks.
"Well you know I need more dope ' he says
 as he starts to rub my shoulder.
"I weigh more and got a higher tolerance " he claims,
 as his bullshit gets a little bolder.

I start to watch his mixing anxiously.
 I suspect a fight might ensue.
"Here you go my love " he says
 "fifty for me and thirty for you."
I want to punch him in the head.
 He is suck a fucking liar.
His pupils are little tiny specks.
He just wants to get a little higher.

This is my life. This is my love.
 I pull out a bag I will not share.
I look at his dreaming face-
"This is the last time forever. I swear..."

6 comments:

  1. I really like that last part with the rhyme Tracey :) Your entries are a lot more fun than I expected honestly :)

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  2. I think all junkie couples have that issue; I know I did but I was the one always 'needing' more
    ♡ rocky_thatgirl

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  3. I think I really lost control when I didnt have a girlfriend that was clean....being half of a junkie couple get ugly, there is an odd bond of love and hate that can be hard to break free from....I dated the monkey on my back for the longest, and she still sits on my shoulder, whispering sweet nothings into my ear....."its only $50" . ..."make the call"..."just one last time"...lies that I only tell myself, im really just listening to the monkey repeat my words back to me...I attempt to purchase my soul back from the devil but the price us high and hes only sellin a few grams at a time....I take my black soul and begin to crush it into dust, diluting my reality into a faint version of its former self...stop and smell the roses? Fuck that shit... Dont have time and my nose is clogged, but I bet I can get one more line up there...I slowly feel my emotions leaving...I am not happy, I am not sad....I just am. And for a few hours i can forget the misery, the past, and the future.... my body reconsumes my soul, one gram at a time....one day, not this time....but one day....one day at a time

    JF

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    Replies
    1. still waiting for you to write something for me

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  4. Perfect. Exactly what I go thru every day, I always get "sick" before him, I always know how to tear up and sniffle and shake my foot.

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