Friday, October 17, 2014

There was that time I almost lost my leg

There are many types of users. There are "chippers". These are the junkie unicorns of users. These are people who can use occasionally. To me, any day was an occasion. How someone can take an Oxy or shoot some dope here and there is beyond my comprehension. Yet i hear that people do it. Personally, my drug of choice was more. 

There are pain patients.  After having three surgeries, I have a soft spot in my heart for them. I needed that pain medicine- needed it. I would be lying if I said it didn't feel good in the process. It would have been so easy to take that extra pill. And pain profoundly impacts your life. It is hard to participate in the world when you have trouble sitting in the chair. Pain patients- I salute you. You are like the food addict. You need something to live that may be killing you at the same time. 

There are the new users. They provide middlemen, older junkies, and dealers a constant stream of income. All that over charging and overdosing. It is almost as if they fell compelled to step on their dope to keep them from killing themselves. And they need you to do EVERYTHING for them. Please new users- quit while you are behind. If not, be safe. Don't trust assholes to give you clean supplies. Don't believe in favors. There are none. 

There are too many of us to describe in one place.
There are the maintenance users. They use just enough to keep from killing themselves as a result of crippling depression. There are the users that never save a wakeup and always push the limits, the greedy dope hogs of the world. There are tweeky mcdopeheads, always insisting on mixing uppers and downers. They like to nod out staring out the window as they look for the FBI and masterbate at the same time. There are the scientist users- keeping a sterile field, clean water while injecting dope that was up someone's dirty ass a few days prior. 

Finally, there are the garbage can users. They will stick a rusty needle in their neck on a street corner. That was me. They will use spit or tears to mix up dope. That was me. They will hate themselves so much that they will almost lose their leg to an infection because they refuse to go to the doctor. That was me. I think I shot up with grape crush trying to be cute. I wasn't laughing when I stuck my finger in a hole between the bone section. I paused but it did not stop me. We all have our crosses to bear. 

I walked around with the rotten leg for a month. I got it treated but never changed the bandages. I got arrested with four abscesses but that leg stunk so bad the police wanted to let me go. Too much paperwork to take a crazy junkie bitch to the hospital in handcuffs. One of my abscesses needed surgery. So I was in Jail with a bandage on each limb. 

People always say there is no one like me. You are just like me. We are the same. We chose different roads but end in the same place. Today, I chose to live. 

14 comments:

  1. That last sentence really hit me hard Tracey.

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  2. People always say there is no one like me. You are just like me.

    Wow, Tracey

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  3. Replies
    1. I hope I get published- I hear this a lot. Either way, i won't stop writing

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  4. Hello, just wondering what Oreo and Jessica are doing these days?

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  5. One hell of a story Tracey.....I think it may be my new favorite.

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  6. Thank you so much foe sharing Tracey. You are a true rolemodel. Greetings from DK with the same big problems like the US. Best wishes from Maj.

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  7. Thank you so much for sharing Tracey. You´re a tru rolemodel. greetings from DK, where we have big problems too. Bless you.

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  8. Thanks. Apparently so were the antibiotics cause i just walked to work. I like having all my limbs

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