Tuesday, September 16, 2014

guest post Flippy Germany

This is translated from a non English speaker. 

what we´ve got here is failure to communicate...

i was born in the middle of the seventies...raised up in the eighties...and my childhood was very protected.
adopted as a small baby I grew up in a large house with a huge garden...a big forest behind the the house...sand box in the garden...the lawn mowed accurate to 2cm ... maintained and just stuffy.
however..the beautiful times began to fall apart sometimes...i think it was when I am at the age of 9...
one day when I was walking home from school I saw my mother brought a big package in a block of flats...a few streets away from my idyllic home. that was not even unusual because my mother worked in a post office at that time. she offered me that she would bring the package to an older women in this flat...and in my childish naivety I believed her.
later on the same day my mother opened my father that she would leave him...and that she would take me with her..out of my lovely home and in the flat where I saw her a few hours ago.
what followed have probably already gone through several children ... torn between the parents decision ... ... in court to tell which parent you would want to ... subside in school ... new beginning in the family .. ..
after my father had moved out, we moved back into our old house ... but something was broken, gone ... and that was beyond repair.
at that time I somehow became a great hunger...hunger for freedom...hunger for liberty....sounds funny that my dream job was to be a truck driver somewhere in australia deep in the desert...where nobody can touch me...unassailable and free to sink into something endless and was a basic need ... this need-wanted to be breastfed.
a little later my mother met a new man...let´s call him hans...he purportedly studied anything about machines...he was a totally buddy guy...and something happened between hans and me..although adult...we share the same dream of freedom...why he has this dream I should learn a few years later....but at the time he was the dream of the new father...and a dreamer..he wants t sail the world in a self built boat...we bought an old camping van...we traveled through half of europe...from norway to spain...the camargue....all along the the mediterrainian coast...a dream.
my mother made a motorcycle license...hans was a confident motorcyclist...endless touring with the bikes were almost every weekend due..it was just a good time...like created for a child who wants to break free.
unfortunately tolerated the father of my mother .... my exaggerated correct grandpa and hans not very good ... and so my mother and I went on the search for a new home..and we found an ancient farmhouse in a tiny village in north hessen .... we moved now so to speak, for the third time around ... in about four years .... new school ... new friendcircle complete conversion of the former life ...not very bad ... but also not exactly conducive to a disoriented teen.
My educational services sagged more and more in the cellar ... I could concentrate on nothing great ... more neglected everything that had anything to do with duties ... dreamed prefer to continue my dream of freedom and an insatiable demand for something which to this day I still can not define ..
at this time also first tensions between hans and me came across...the former pals developed more and more overwhelmed with the quirks of the thin, slightly melancholy tinged teens at this time ... and I did not understand ... how can someone who is similar to feels like I change to a beat so ... the answer I should only get later ..... and they hit me with a balancing that I stayed away the breath ....
meantime hans also be studies had done ... my mother and he married ..... we drove a lot on market ..... by a job in sales for pans and pots my mother had arranged with the cheffin the company, they were showing off their on markets and sells ... again I was right in the middle in a pretty casual lifestyle ... showman ... sale ... buden flea market and carnival ... the next dream of my hungry youth for freedom....
at this time I was much alone at home ..... and had a lot to do with it, to hear me through the extensive collection of plates and cassettes of my stepfather ... which of a large part of the rock and rock'n roll 50s and 60s was ... I learned jim reev's, buddy holly, del shannon and johnny cash ... know and love .... rock ... rebell. liberty.. those were the things that me straight from the soul saying .... my music ... my life.
Unfortunately, the relationship between Hans and me visibly deteriorated ... he insisted on good services in the school ... I tried with sugar bread and educate whip ... and I mean that almost literally .... it was absolutely remarkable views his hand ..... he ran with the exhaust of my cheat behind me and wanted to beat me with it ... hit me for a discarded orange the bloody nose ... etc ... one day later I was with his military motorcycle with him drive over the forest paths ... it was a strange time ... again torn ... but this time between the two faces of a single person ...
in the meantime I had a new pal .... a guy from a central Hessian town ... a type of habit and with stretch jeans in the school came ... full of patches and scribbled with the names of relevant rock bands .... he had similar experiences with his parents as I ....
the chemistry fit ... this new buddy ...his name was rude ..... just hans no longer fit the chemistry and my development now....
to the time I started to drink very very much....first on party´s at the weekend...and then I began to drink under the week...rock´n roll booze...jack daniels was my favorite...after a short time I managed about 1-1,5 bottles alone. I had my first alcoholic fail between at the age between 11-12 years...and slowly I solidified my joy in noise by running the world in a comatose state of mind.
in this time a band hit in my life...a band that reflected my lifestyle...my fashion..a band that put my life in there words and there music...guns´n roses...appetite for destruction..and this appetite was mine...yeah..sex drugs and rock´n roll..let´s go.
i started to write funny things on my clothes..stuff like “fuck the world” and other funny things...started to grow my hair....and began to feel like a rock star...but I want something more...
then came a memorable holiday in france...party with some punks from marseille at the beach...the first joint...and a new pale from my germany..from a small city near by my hometown...it was by chance on a campsite met at hyeres..(it was one of the last holidays with hans in our mobile home)..
I met this guy..let´s call him martin...after this holiday for one or to times..and at least..a few years later I met him coincidence in my next hometowne frankenberg...with a guy called matze....at this point the circle that closed sometimes had started to form. this adventures and still a really monumental guns´n roses concert in manheim ...to witch I hitchhiked with rude...confirmed me more and more the fact that the only way to freedom goes through drugs and music.
in this time I moved even the school...i was only on a secondary school and I followed the plan to make a middle school graduation...that was possible in my old state of home..(westfalen) but in hessen the system was a little different...so I decided to go to a secondary school...a faculity of business and administration...big mistake.
the teaching there was to boring..and I preferred playing billiards in bars already in the morning and got drunk the whole day...i slept with my new girlfriend or live frome day to day with a buddy in the schooltown..korbach.....could hardly get home...and hung with the small town punks in the station or in the cityparks.
my testimony was the purest disaster...and hans responded with violence and pressure...the next escalation was that my parents were ordered to school..it was a fact that I not make the discolation..
that affected almost half the class did not matter...hans offered me that he would beat me up in front
of the whole class..only to show them that i´m just a fool and I would be worth nothing more than a peace of crap..
I ran away...on the way to school I leave the bus and hitchhiked directly to frankfurt...with my briefcase full of schoolbooks...one bread...and no penny in my pocket....i want to go a girl...a fleeting acquaintance from the trip to south france....
foolishly the escape took only the half of the day...at the evening my parents got out by a stupid random where I am...and so they stood in front of the door where I hope I can hide.
followed by endless debates with hans..the schooldirection and the class teacher...and I decided to make an effort...do the schoolyear again...and I could hardly believe it...my note average improved noticeably...my clothes were again somewhat civil...i closed compromises with my parents not to stay away from home for weeks...i drank only on the weekend...it was a very lying peacfull pancake time...but not very long.
at this time hans had a job at a company for installation of whatever...over the week he was not at home..on the weekend he came home and settled enlighten my mother the first thing about it if I had followed all the rules in the week...if not I got the enforcement still an the friday night...he was noisy...he hits me...he smashed the contents of my cupboards...my rock lp´s...my tapes...and with his stature...a big strong man...and with the full force of his big hand he injures me many times.
I would not let the school though grind ... but I started in my free time just crap build ... steal...even the money from my parents...for that I came back rare home....slept here and there...and again began to drink and smoke pot a lot....smoked two cartons of cigaretts a day..lived my old life again....and despite all this my first testimony was damn good...I had to improve myself in almost all compartments for almost two notes...what in which around it before a good performance ... which was unfortunately only with the question why it was not better by hans and the was had, anyway appreciated value. Asshole ...
a beautiful day ... I had decided once again at home to look over ... I found my mother ... stoned with herbal sedative stabs ... what else was not there for happiness ... and curled up on our couch. ..
 fortunately she understood my cynical question ... whether hans had have an accident ..and had also dont noticed my grin I put just could not ....
she told me that she had brought of the work by the cops...her first reaction to the cops was the question: what has screwed up my son ...... but it was not about me ..
 hans was accused with several other ca to have attacked 35 banks ... to have smuggled weapons, money and cars washed by corporate stolen for the raids ... to beat around the whole he was still of attempted murder accused cops.
he had arguably, an affair with another woman probably should have also in this raid series with penetrate hang with other ... a police special force all the troops had arrested the day before.
moreover she told me that the guy who treated me so bad for my sins of youth had already spent 17 years of his life in various prisons...i´m falling down...first before shock...then..in my room before laughing...what a fucking guy...what an absolute phenomenon this was hans ... crazy ...
staggered in my life this new turning point my faith in the company the absolute death shock...i almost went to school no longer...drank more and more...there was absolutly no matter for me what will be in my future...i just want to go out...out of this life..out of this society...out of this fucking shit.
I make it a non-dislocation-average yet to beat ... my girlfriend kicked me ... their parents wanted nothing to do with a family like mine... and I was right where I wanted to go ... the world could eat my ass ... what a feeling ... rock music and fuck you in the face...
in this summer i started a job training in a small town called frankenberg..60km away from my home...i moved into a small apartment in a nearby village....and then...a few weeks later...in a house near the hospital i met a very good friend...the queen of the night..kokain....
later that month i stumbled into a poolbilliard-pub...and i found accidentally a old friend from france...martin...he had a buddy in tow...called matze...we met every week...smoking pot...drinking and cocain was my major ingredient...our lifestyle...and then..a short time later matze just brought my new best friend and my greatest enemy in my life...everything changes...the friend of mine was heroin...and i feel i had arrived...no more pain..no more problems....a warm and wonderfull feeling was running to my soul...yeah..sex drugs rock ´n roll..that´s it...welcome to the jungle flippy...you´re gonna die !!!!

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